Ho-gyun Cho · Korea Meditation Education Center
We make countless choices every day.
We choose what to eat, where to go, and what to do first.
Yet we often go through life without noticing the state of mind from which we view these things.
Familiar thoughts and judgments shaped by the past tend to respond automatically.
In the previous article, we looked at the premises hidden within fear. Rather than trying to eliminate all of them, we explored adding one more premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
Trying to find and remove each familiar premise can leave us unsure where to begin. At such times, we can try applying this one premise in everyday life.
If we have believed, “I can only be at peace once the problem is solved,” we now turn our attention to experiencing peace first, and look at the problem before us from there.
This does not mean forcing ourselves to feel peaceful or putting off action until the mind is completely at ease.
We leave open the possibility of experiencing peace even now, with fear present, and look at what is needed from there.
Not following thoughts does not mean eliminating or suppressing them. It means noticing the thoughts that arise without immediately taking them as facts or reacting as they tell us to.
This time, we will explore how to use this new premise in specific situations in everyday life.
1. When You Worry About the Future
“How will I manage in the future?”
“What if this goes wrong?”
The mind imagines a future that has not yet happened and feels afraid.
At that moment, pause and ask yourself:
“What am I assuming to be true right now?”
Notice whether you are treating something that has not yet happened as though it has already ended in failure.
Then distinguish between what has actually happened and what the mind has predicted.
“The outcome is not yet known” is a fact you can verify now.
“It will definitely go wrong” is a prediction that has arisen in the mind.
There is no need to force that prediction away.
“I notice a worried thought that things might go wrong.”
After noticing this, try adding one premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
The belief that you must know everything about the future before you can feel at ease may still be there. But you do not have to leave your mind entirely in the hands of that belief.
“If I experience peace first, what will I look at and what will I do now?”
If something needs checking, check it. If something needs preparing, prepare one thing at a time. If there is nothing you can do about it now, let the mind rest from trying to resolve the entire future at once.
If there is a real danger, action is needed to protect yourself. The intention to experience peace first can also help you consider that action calmly.
2. When You Feel You Should Be Doing More
“What am I doing with my life these days?”
“Is it all right to be like this?”
“Shouldn’t I hurry up and do something?”
Look at the state of mind behind these questions.
Could there be a thought that resting means falling behind, or a belief that you must achieve something to be a person of worth?
At such times, pause and notice:
“I am thinking that I am only good enough if I am doing something.”
Do not fight the thought or try to persuade yourself that it is untrue. Simply see that this belief is at work right now.
Then try adding one premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
Instead of allowing yourself peace only after all the work is done, first look at the mind with which you are doing this work now.
“If I set aside the need to prove my worth for a moment, what needs doing now, from a peaceful state of mind?”
If there are things to do, begin with one of them. If it is time to rest, rest for a while.
You do not have to wait for the sense of urgency to disappear completely before you begin. You can notice hurried thoughts without having to match their pace entirely.
3. When Someone’s Words or Actions Trouble You
When someone behaves differently from what you expected, you may feel anxious or afraid.
“Are they dismissing me?”
“What if our relationship gets worse?”
Pause and look:
“Am I seeing this person’s actions, or my interpretation of those actions?”
For example, suppose someone has not replied to your message.
“They have not replied yet” is a fact you can verify.
“I am not important to them” may be an interpretation you have added to that fact.
“I am thinking that I already know what is in their mind.”
Notice that premise, and try leaving what you do not yet know as unknown.
This does not mean always interpreting the other person favorably. It means not deciding that your interpretation is the only possible truth.
Here, too, try adding one premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
Before assuming that the other person must change for you to be at peace, turn your attention to the mind with which you are looking at them now.
“If I experience peace first, with what state of mind will I look at this person now?”
When needed, you can ask calmly, express yourself honestly, or keep an appropriate distance.
Attending to peace of mind does not mean enduring everything or accommodating the other person without question.
4. When You Make a Mistake or Fail
“As I thought, I’m just not capable.”
“What if I fail again?”
Past experiences try to define who you are now and determine even a future that has not yet arrived.
At that moment, ask:
“Does one experience really tell the whole story of who I am?”
A mistake is an event that happened. “I am a failure,” however, is a judgment added to that event.
“I made a mistake” and “I am incapable” do not mean the same thing.
When a thought that defines you arises, notice it again:
“I am judging my whole self by one experience.”
Before trying to eliminate all such judgments, try adding one premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
You do not have to succeed again before you can look at yourself with ease.
“If I look at myself as I am now with a peaceful mind, what can I learn and what can I put right?”
You can learn what is needed and put things right without defining yourself by that judgment.
Experiences come and go, but the “I” that is aware of those experiences does not come and go.
Rather than continuing a story of self-blame, look at one thing you can put right now.
Three Reflections for Daily Life
When fearful thoughts keep coming, slowly consider these three things.
First, notice what thoughts and premises are at work right now.
“There is a thought that I will fail.”
“I am worrying that I might be disliked.”
“I am believing that this problem must be solved before I can be at peace.”
Rather than spending a long time analyzing why you think this way, look at which thoughts you are accepting as facts right now.
Second, try adding one premise:
“First, I experience peace.”
It is all right if familiar premises remain. You do not have to eliminate them all before you can use this premise.
Starting now, choose where your attention goes first.
Third, look at what action is needed now from this premise.
“If I experience peace first, what will I look at and how will I act now?”
If thoughts keep coming, take a moment to feel the soles of your feet touching the floor, or the breath naturally moving in and out.
Then look at what is known to be true now and what you have predicted or interpreted. If you do not know, it is all right to leave it unknown.
If there are things to do, do them one at a time. If there is nothing to do right away, it is fine to remain as you are.
This process is not a test of whether you can eliminate fear. The presence of fear does not mean you have failed.
If you notice that you are following a thought, you can begin again right there.
We Do Not Try to Manufacture Peace
“Fear must disappear before I can be at peace.”
If we hold on to this thought, we come to believe that we cannot be at peace now, while fear remains.
So we notice not only fear, but also the thought that fear must disappear.
Even the words “I must not follow fearful thoughts” need not become a standard with which we pressure ourselves.
The same applies to the premise we have added: “First, I experience peace.”
We do not use it as a demand to become peaceful immediately. We use it as a direction for the mind to return to when familiar thoughts carry us along.
Fearful thoughts may arise. We may find ourselves following them before we realize it. Each time, we notice again what is happening now.
Then we return to the question from the previous article:
“What is it that is aware of this fear?”
Fear only passes through that awareness; it cannot harm it.
“First, I experience peace.”
This premise is not intended to force peace into existence. It turns the mind toward looking at ourselves and our present situation from the peace that is already here.
We do not have to eliminate every premise before we can begin.
Today, let us begin by adding this one premise.
